Far from God?

I wrote this when William was eight weeks old. He's two now, and I'm sharing it for every mama who's right in the middle of it.

8 weeks of a new life, a different life than before.

56 days of less sleep, more questions, and new learning experiences.

1,344 hours of sleep deprivation, arguments, exhaustion, laughter, crying, and snuggling.

80,640 minutes of pure joy and amazement.

4,838,400 seconds of an undeserved but fully received gift from God.

Where do I start? I've lost track of days and time, and I've only left my neighborhood a handful of times. I've found so much peace and so much unrest all at the same time.

I feel so far from God. I haven't been able to read my Bible daily like I used to or spend quiet time with Him. Even when William is down for a nap, I'm just too tired.

Lately I've felt heavy, like I'm missing out on life and not doing "enough." I feel a lack of the purpose and drive I've had my whole life. Survive, work, work, work, next, next, next! Andy calls me a Clydesdale because I work like a horse. I'm used to running around at 100 miles an hour. I have multiple projects, businesses, and passions because I love learning and growing, and all of it has made me feel like I should be doing more.

But then I look at William, and I'm reminded that this time with him is a gift from God. I couldn't be closer to Him.

I'm trying not to be too hard on myself and to enjoy the little moments that will soon fade away. This season isn't forever, so I'm choosing to cherish each minute, even the hard and exhausting ones.

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

Mama, if you feel far from God right now, He hasn't gone anywhere. Take one small step, one small win, and one prayer today. My free 7-day devotional is a gentle place to start: rebekahvannatta.com/takingthewins